My wife is an '8'

I was chaperoning a field trip yesterday when some students sitting behind me started discussing how attractive foreign accents were. Most of the girls said they didn't think accents were anything special, to which I replied that they were full of it. I told them that I had seen how girls reacted when I was in high school and an Australian student move in, and I was sure they would fall for an accent the same way. They turned it back on me and asked what I thought about it, and I told them that "a woman with an Italian accent is way hot."

"You can't say that - You're married!" they protested.

"Why not?" I asked. "My wife and I rate guys and girls on movies all the time. I'll ask my wife, 'Is that guy hot?' and she'll tell me. I tell her which actresses are the prettiest. If you asked my wife which actress I thought was the hottest, she would tell you it was a toss up between Catherine Zeta-Jones and Jessica Alba."

They stared at me, dumbfounded. Finally, one of them said, "But that's mean."

"How so?" I asked.

"Because," she explained, "You're supposed to tell your wife that she's the most beautiful woman in the world. Don't you think you're wife is beautiful?"

"Sure I do," I said. "I think she's a total hottie. But she's not the most gorgeous woman on the planet."

They gasped at this statement, and I could see their shock and confusion. 

"Look," I said, "I didn't marry my wife because she's the sexiest woman on earth. And I know that I'm not the best looking guy she knows, either. We got married because we love each other. I love my wife more than anyone else on the planet - that's why I married her. I don't care how hot another woman is, I don't want to spend eternity with any woman but my wife. She knows that. And I know that she feels the same way about me. And when we talk about how good looking someone else is, it's like admiring a work of art or a sculpture. We can admire their beauty without it changing the way we feel about each other."





          (My wife, who I think is
          very, very beautiful)





I could see that this was making sense to them.  Continuing on I said, "So if some smoking hot Italian chick with a sexy accent started hitting on me, I would say, 'Look, I think you're beautiful and all, but I'm already married to the love of my life, so beat it."

"Awwwww," they cried in unison, "That's the most romantic thing we've ever heard!"

Never one to pass up an opportunity with a rapt audience, I hammered home my point.  "When you get married, make sure it's because he loves you and you love him. You're both going to get old and ugly someday, and if looks is a major reason for the two of you being together, it's over when that happens. Relationships based on sex appeal are over as soon as the sex somewhere else looks more appealing."