Even though I wrote a book with an entire chapter devoted to the fact that men are scum, I am still amazed at the extent to which that is true.
I was recently involved in a conversation with four other guys - normal guys in their late teens - debating who was the greatest basketball player ever. It was a heated argument over Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan. Someone mentioned that at least Michael Jordan wasn't a rapist. That was immediately rebutted by a Kobe fan that pointed out that the charges were dropped.
"That's just because he paid her off," interjected one of the Jordan supporters.
"Doesn't even matter," said another guy. "She admitted that she went to the room with him and started making out with him. And you can't think any guy's gonna stop once you get all started like that. It doesn't matter if she told him to stop, it ain't his fault 'cuz a guy can't just stop like that. She should've known that."
Everyone acknowledged that he had a point, and the rape issue was nixed from the debate. Which left me wondering, "Do a majority of guys really think date rape is justifiable?" I mean, I think guys are scum and jerks and all that, and I even knew there were ones that were okay with date rape (that's why it happens), but I never thought it was that widespread. None of these guys struck me as particularly prone to sexual perversity or violence - they were your normal, everyday type of scummy men.
I'm going to be optimistic and say that it was an unlucky sample of men. I really hope that 80% of men are not closet rapists. But it is still a shocking insight into how some men - men that appear normal - are truly scum.
I've heard this idea of, "Men can't stop once they get revved up" bandied about every now and again, and always thought it was ridiculous. It's seriously something out of science fiction (like, literally it seems like a sexual analog to Farscape's "Luxon Hyperrage" where the warrior race people were biologically wired to fly into uncontrollable fits of rage). It's not only untrue and in many ways a shocking reflection of dudes trying to justify their mistreating women for sexual gratification, but a little reversed in understanding as I dare say that women are more overcome with desire when really "revved up" than men (though as men who'd believe this foolhardy myth are unlikely to have ever been able to stoke desire enough in a woman to bring her to such a state and have seen this).
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